Keep yourself to yourself
You thought you were smart
Talking to aliens
on your ham
Radio
Now you're on your knees
In a pool of urine
Begging for life
behind a
Dumpster
The end of that ray gun
Is cold like space
the little men
are tough
and cruel
Jlork isn't what you thought
he was
He seemed like a
Cool guy
With morse code skills
Now you realize too late
That he's a jerk
With cold grey skin
And weird stuff
Hanging on his
Belt
The smell of fajitas in the air
The stars like gauze
Why does this always
Go down in
The desert?
The back door of Juan's opens
Voices and light
Everyone freezes
Jlork and Nepbun stare at Don
The manager
"Hey guys"
The door closes
They come here all the time
They like the burritos
And pulled pork
Nepbun grabs you hard
Grey sinewy fingers at your throat
His mouth clicks:
C
O
W
They want cow
You thought you had it made
Finding Life in the galaxy other
Than us
Money! Women! Jimmy Kimmel!
Finally recognized
For your huge intellect
You wanted the secrets
Of space and infinity
Of UFOs and ETs
Now you have blood
In your eye
And piss
All over your jeans
Why Does life do this?
You're too young
To die
On the ground at the
Hands of aliens
In a smear of refried beans
And special sauce
You messed up when
You mentioned cows
Two weeks ago that
Night
You hung bait
In the air waves
Over the abyss of space
They wanted them
To pay off parts or something
You said there was like a million
Cows around your place
Just standing around for free
Buy there's only three
And they're fifty miles
Away
The dangers of hyperbole
Now you'd better cough it up
Before they splatter your cortex
Like a circus hammer
On a
Honey dew
Oh God
You wish you were home
In the trailer
Snuggled up with Mr. Buggles
Broadcasting with one hand
Playing video mahjong
With the other
In a few more hours the sun
Will be up. Summer
In the desert
You left the air conditioner
Off
Mr. Buggles is going to die
You sob
This is where it ends
Sprawled on the ground
In a torn Atari T-shirt
A heretic charged with
Nerdcraft
Prosecuted by
Alien inquisitors
Nepbuns ray gun begins
To crackle
C
O
W
!
He shrieks
In a digital cascade of noise
The tip of his weapon
Is getting hot on your neck
"Over there! Man!
Over there! Behind the hill
Outside of town!"
"There's a buttload of cows!"
Yaaaaahhhh! That's hot!!
He pulls the gun away
And blasts a hole through
The dumpster
They're gone
A halo of dust and purple energy
Floats away
Into the moths around
The lights of Juan's
The dumpster is on fire
You are in pain
New lights
Blue and red
Screeching tires
Antifreeze and hot rubber
A cold gun against
The burn on your neck
Arrested
For arson
Hauled Into county jail
Fingers smeared with ink
Thrown to your knees
Onto concrete
The door slams
A crackhead thinks you
Are the guy
Who slammed his ex wife
Things are bad
But
Actually they're pretty good
Because as long as you are
Behind bars
You're safe
After all
You lied about cow