Just Another Promise

Fri, 05/02/2014 - 22:25 -- AmyLeya

 

I’m not the liar you are

I’m not the one who couldn’t hold on

Your eyes tell the story

You’ve been hiding from

 

With every day, every step

You push me away

But you don’t have to

I’m already on my way

You don’t need to ask me twice

Because if you do, I’ll say I’m fine

Even though I’m not ready to be alone again

 

With every fight you blamed on me

You made another scar

As if that were necessary

But just in case you’re wondering

I’m okay; you made me better

A broken heart can’t break a second time

And I can’t lose what isn’t mine anymore

 

You seemed so innocent

But it turns out I was wrong the entire time

Because I was falling

And you were afraid to catch me

And at the same time you expect me to believe

That you were afraid of losing me

And that you were afraid that you would lose the most real thing you’ve ever felt

Even though it wasn’t real at all to you

It was all a game

A test that you didn’t think I would pass

But I did pass

 

What more do you want me to do to prove that I’m good enough

I might not be what you wanted

I might be the opposite of what you expected to get

But you didn’t buy me from the store

I’m not a shirt that doesn’t fit

You can’t return me

You can’t send me back to where I came from

You can’t get a refund

 

I know they say that knowledge can kill you

But knowing that you didn’t care

Knowing that you didn’t want me

Didn’t need me

That would have been better than thinking you felt what I felt

And thinking you meant every word you said to me

Like I meant every smile and laugh that I gave to you

I gave myself to you

 

You took my heart and soul

You stole everything that made me who I am

Now I’m an echo

A ghost

A shadow

An empty shell

I’m not me anymore

You were my other half and you left me

A broken heart can’t beat

 

I should’ve seen that you were broken

You were falling apart at the seams

And I thought I could handle it

But I couldn’t

Because glue can’t fix a shattered soul

And I didn’t know how to piece you back together

So I gathered the scattered pieces of you

And watched you try to figure out your own puzzle

I didn’t run away

I was afraid

 

I was afraid of leaving you
So you tried to convince me to stay

And you did

But it won’t work this time around

You’re too late now

So I’m begging you to give up

We can’t get our old life back

You can’t take all the lies back

 

Sometimes I wish you weren’t lying

Sometimes I hope you’ll come back around and embrace me and tell me you’re sorry

But then I wonder if I would believe

If I would have the strength to let everything go and let you in

Into a place where I held back everything I never said to you

Every secret, every word I wish I’d told you

Everything that might’ve made it real

But I’m not that strong anymore

 

You took away my strength and left me with nothing

All I have now is scars and memories

Scars from when you hurt me and memories of exactly how you did

I know if I let you back into my heart you’ll just hurt me again

You’ll take away every part of me that I got back after you left

And you’ll leave me with nothing but more memories and scars

 

I have nothing to believe in

You were my everything

You were my hope

And now everything I’ve ever known

Is coming crashing down

And I can’t forget you

Because with every glance you stole

You engraved another memory of you in my mind

Now my heart is falling through the holes in your lies

Because I’m just another promise you couldn’t keep

 

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