I can't move

I don't know how

Not anymore.

My heart is beating way too fast

And I cannot focus on anything.

Some compare depression 

To a monster

And I guess to some respect

They're right.

Everything is too loud

All I hear is the echo 

Of the words that brought me here.

To this place

Where the problem is me

But I try to blame others.

Where the words aren't mine

But the echo are.

I've convinced myself I deserve

The echoing phrase

"Not good enough"

I don't know what happened between 

The time I didn't care

And now

When black and white is my preferred color scheme

Rather than the colors I see 

Because my brain moves too fast to not

All I feel is the echo of what I was supposed to do

But forgot because

I think between three and ten thoughts a second

What I need most is patience

Patience while I collect myself

And start over

But what's I need now

Is for you

To sit next to me 

No words exchanging,

Only music

Floating through the room

And just wait with me

Until I'm ready

To talk out

My struggles

Then I need you to reenter the room with me

And please

Don't let me leave.