Self Harm
It calls me closer, its calls me near
"Just once and it'll be over"
Death whispers in my ear
Irresistible is its sweet entice
Staring down, which one to slice,
I observe my previous tries
My unseen hurt and earlier cries
No peace in my mind, no peace in my head
The quiet intelligent me, long since fled
Anger and rage consumes me
My mind's demons bursting to be free
The walls of my cage finally cave
"Just be still, just be brave"
I slash down with an improvised knife
"Forget this world, forget my life"
Blood oozes and drips down the drain
A slight tingle but no real pain
A calmness comes over me
My last attempt please, it's got to be
"Screw everyone, that's made me into this"
The very same people who I'm going to miss
Tears stream down my cheek,
My head feels heavy, I get dizzy and legs go weak
I drop to the floor and my vision fades,
"Is it too late for this decision I've made?"
Tears seep out, as blood does too
I don't want this to be the end, I need to pull through
Legs wabbling their way up the sink
As I sob and begin to rethink
Looking in the mirror, my face is flushed
Thinking about all the hearts I would have crushed
Observing all angles of myself, weighing my self-worth
Feeling thankful for not passing, thankful for this Earth
Maybe I can learn to be content,
After all, I know how much to people I meant.
Months pass and I am growing happier everyday
As I learn to throw the bad thoughts away
You are worth it and mean something to someone,
But you need to stick around to be able to see that in the long run