it comes in the spaces in conversation

the words left unsaid

the achingly precious moments

within my fingertips at the same moment they slip away

the change that happens over time without my realization.

 

it comes when I return home

where I notice my mother in my intentionality and compassion

my father in the way I laugh and take myself less seriously

my grandmother in the way I want to give away. 

 

it comes from an ever-expanding definition of home

no longer buildings and walls

but the arms of my mother when I return home

reunions with friends

and the warmth of knowing love. 

 

it comes at the end of the year revelations

recognizing all the moments I overlooked because of fear

or a feeling of inadequacy

it shows itself in the realization that I must be more present

more bold

more loving

it reminds me that I must not miss my own life. 

 

inspiration breathes more fully when I am present

not holding tightly to the qualities I do not possess

not picking myself apart in the mirror

not dwelling on all that i lack.

 

inspiration is built into my life

even when i lament its absence

it is the whisper waiting

a loved one’s smile 

a reminder of my grandma’s generosity. 

 

it waits around every corner

curls into my laughter

reminds me that life is beautiful

it is the joy of knowing there is always something to celebrate.