i cant begin to express why im shaking and my heart is pounding.... seeing you always brings me pain. but, i sit here, waiting for you to pick me up, as jumpy as a puppy. shaking and anticipating, and feeling like i might cry because i cant be free of your cage. you make me so happy and so sad all at once. i cant ignore the overwhelming of feelings i have for you, because without you i have no feelings at all. so although i feel every extreme emotion with you, i am grateful for the presence of feelings. i feel so empty and chilled-over every single day. but when you're around me, my body sets on fire, my heart beats intensely and sadly. my eyes want to cry for happiness of the moment and for sadness of the loss of what once was. you have me on puppet strings and no matter how much i receive the advice or offer to cut those ropes, i decline the freedom gladly and without second thought. there is a sea of emotions that i swim in when you're here. good and bad. i am depressed, enlightened, happy, sad, loving, caring, worried, afraid, devoted, adoring, amused, upset, lost, found. no one in the world makes me feel any range of emotions anymore. and no matter how painful and toxic you are to me, i am addicted to you. you are my drug. my body is physically ill at the thought of losing you in my life...the truth is, i am still in love with you. and i will be, for a very long time...
you dug your grave so deep, you forgot i was laying at the bottom when you fell in...so who's going to climb out first? whos strong enough to do this? you're like poison in my veins, the more i drink you in, the further i sink. step on my heart to get yourself out, its what we both need.