What do you want?

And before I speak,

before my two lips can receive the memo from my mind and my soul

in harmonious agreement of what it is

that, I want.

You decided.

Like the sun there’s no question if you’ll rise,

but like the moon, my luster is forever dependent

on the amount of light you reflect.

They say you grow into your nurturer

it’s a curse.

Fight to be yourself, in a cycle that’s rigged to create

replicas of the same mediocrity.

Dare to be different, in a land of souls bound by the same

bone structure.

Same two eyes

but we see different

Same two hands,

but the love from the world

is softer than the love that you give.

So before I respond

on what it is that I want

You respond

on what exactly it is that you anticipate I need

Because there’s always a certain degree of you within me.

And I can fight it,

and dispute you until my water runs dry.

But at that point when I’m drinking from a bottomless well

that is my lack of wisdom

I’ll come back for you.

Because I’ll know that the moon is as dull as the material things I fill each day with

and the knowledge I crave will be as barren as the teachers heart I got it from;

that believed she had all the answers.

Show me the light,

and I’ll thank you.

Provider,

Creator,

Mother.

For falling short

For your response to failure and success

For your understanding of highs and lows

Because if theres any word that described you

it’s not perfect.

But in the pursuit of perfection I found myself

Walking along the yellow brick roads you’ve paved with your passion for life

And though I’m angry and infuriated by the circumstance of the life I’m given

Behind that thin wall lies pure fear of myself clothed in all my capabilities.

So the next time you ask me,

what do you want?

Instead of one hundred reasons why I shouldn’t compete to speak for myself

You decide.

And I let you,

because of all the battles I can choose to fight

I know not of the one’s worth the fight.

So I’ll look to you

for now.

In hopes, that you’ll still carry enough scars from life

For the both of us.

Because this push and pull that is our infinity reminds me that I am still in tune with my present.

                                                                                                                                               -Alexis Taylor