June 2, 2016 at 9:42 PM

I’m sorry that I continuously

Make jokes about you

I know you don’t know I do

But there’s this part of me that

Feels entitled to apologize discreetly

I know you have

I know you’ve apologized

For what’s happened

And never telling

I know the only person you’ve physically apologized to

Is yourself

Practicing in front of the mirror

As if your mirror was me

Because I was the one you knew

Who’d already fallen

And you knew you weren’t going to be there to catch me

I hope you know I’m proud of you

It’s not fair for me to say

You’re not you anymore

Because this is probably the most you

You’ve ever been

Now you’re no one but you

I used to like just you

And I’m sure some part of me still does

It’s just hard trying to wrap the situation

Around my head

Sometimes the situation

Feels like a noose

That keeps getting tighter and tighter

Every time the thought of you crosses my mind

I guess the hardest part

Is knowing that we will never be

And you don’t look at me the same anymore

You don’t look at me as if I am the Sun

You don’t see me as if I am the most beautiful painting

I hope you know

I miss the way you used to look at me.

-(hms)