If there’s anything I’ve learned from my family in the last five years, it’s that some of this shit is never going to be as simple as I am.


If there’s anything I’ve learned from my family in the last five years, it’s that some of this shit is never going to be as simple as I am.

It’s that, some days, you’re gonna duke it out and run like hell and you’re going to be alone and terrified in some new place with only your own hands to look to.

And some days, you’re going to remember a lesson that’s hard to learn in the Midwest.

that the people who birthed you? you can leave them behind.

they’re not everything. if you need to get out, you can get out. you’re never gonna be stuck.


see, here, loyalty is hard-pressed.

fielty to the name to the honor to the fine and distinct privelige of being a member of the clan is the best thing you can have.

until you, outsider, realize that that’s not all that’s cracked up to be.

until you realize that the functions of the family aren’t being served by your biological bonds but rather by the people to whom you yourself have decided to dedicate time and love and energy.


you’re going to learn to go beyond the starter kit.


the family you begin with is the trial run, the family that teaches you how to bond and how not to. you, young one wit hthe critical lens, will at some point realize that there’s so much more to life than coming, crawling, to the name when called.

you’ll realize that intoxicants make family difficult. that often, dulling the pain only increases it for others.

and you’ll realize that shelter is not best under the roof of an abuser, or an addict.


you’ll remember each time your friends with the shitty apartment whose couch you crashed on have provided you with a place to be safe, a place where you can leave your knife in your coat pocket and hang it by the door.


it’s this first taste of vulnerability, of the blood in your mouth, that you will realize that family is more than blood lines.

the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

those who birthed you or left you behind won’t matter when you find the people, or any people, who may care for you until your time comes.


but in the meantime, your time is coming.

your family is waiting to find you, waiting for you at every new opportunity you investigate, every new door you step through is gonna be the door to your new home.


and home is exactly that.

home is where you build a common sense of love and joy in one another, when you realize that the simplest thing you can do for someone is lend them an open hand.

See, some days, you’re gonna have to duke it out and run like hell, but babe, I think there’s going to be a place for you to go.


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