I will never understand why

Tue, 04/16/2013 - 21:29 -- venyx


United States
42° 19' 20.2944" N, 88° 18' 16.1676" W

You were too fucked up to answer
me but you were always too fucked
up why do you fuck yourself up
you are so amazing without
anything else inside of you why
do you drink so much you say that
you know who your real friends are
when they see the real you, blackout
drunk you, and they still love you
but that is a bunch of bullshit real
you is sober real you is the one that
hides in the back corner of your brain
when you’re drunk the one that says hey
maybe you shouldn’t and you ignore him.
Do you remember who held you when you
were crying drunk sobbing telling
stories about your parents about
your life and how lost you were?
(It was me) and do you even remember
how I held you so close and I spoke
to you with my heart I gave you my
love and you wanted to make love
because it would mean something
stopped talking to me after
that you couldn’t find time
for me and I GAVE MYSELF to you
I wasn’t expecting forever,
(maybe you thought I was)
I didn’t expect you to stay for good
but I never expected you’d leave me
they way you did after that God I should
never have kept making love with you
after the time I told you I was feeling things,
girly things, and you said you felt nothing
I felt your face buried in my neck
and your body pumping oxytocin into
my brain I never wanted to let you go
but you forced me to pry my fingers loose
even while you held them tight in the
car telling me it was over it all was
impossible you kissed my wet face
and said you wanted to see me again
before break was over but you’d
understand if I didn’t want to
see you HOW did you even have the
guts to do that and I will never
understand why.


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