Sometimes I can see my own nose

and maybe it's just me who knows

but I don't like it

it makes me feel like my nose is too big for my face

so I'll just stick it in a book

even though I hate reading real books

but I'll do it anyways

because I don't like my looks

there's this girl that people say resembles me

but the only thing our appearances share is a slightly large nose

my confidence holds a sign that reads foreclose because nobody will oppose my thought

i thought that i couldn't be seen from the side profile

even just to smile

because my nose looks even bigger from that angle

and my hair color is kind of dull

so I dyed it and blamed it on oily hair

and the kids at my private school didn't think that was very fair

so i started to homeschool

and everyone thought that was so cool

but i didn't wanna be cool

I wanted to be the girl with an average size nose

to whom nobody really knows much about

because she only talks to people who have her trust

but trust me

no one ever plans to end up like that

but I did

because even as a kid

I knew what a trust issue was

and I figured I might as well develop one now

because it'll happen sooner or later

and to me later seemed like an afterthought

that i ought to not think about

or i'll end up on a balcony wanting to shout

because i was the kid that went to a private school and thought god was a black woman who rode the subway and asked strangers for money because her kids needed to eat and

I thought god was a dog who had just been beat and

I thought god was my aunt Sue

I was the kid with all the library books overdue

even though I never read a single one of them

but I wanted the kids in my class to think that I did

I was the kid that when asked

"where did they travel over the summer”

I would listen to the other kids say

“Spain, a Disney Cruise, and New York City”

I would look up from my desk and say

Great Wolf Lodge

5 miles from my house

and then pretend to read the book about the mouse

I was the kid who started the 3rd grade monthly book report

the night before it was due

and i asked my dad why the mouse lived in the walls

and when he didn't know the answer he helped me google the summary

because he agreed

that I would not need

this in the future

I was the kid that wanted to be a tomboy to fit in with my older brothers but when that didn't work I feel in love with a boy named Tom

I was the kid that was obsessed with art class because I wanted to be good at it

but nobody ever told me that words can be art

nobody ever told me that you don't have to be good at painting to be good at art

nobody ever told me that art is not defined by a 40 year old teacher who

gets mad at you when you talk but expects you to be creative

I was the kid who loved english class because all I wanted to do was write

I was the kid who didn't care if my answers were right

just as long as my name wasn't called on to read because

I hate reading

I'd rather be daydreaming

but that's not allowed at my school

so i'll have to pretend i'm reading this book

and hope that nobody looks

because I might as well be holding it upside down

I was the kid that hated reading but loved writing

I was the kid who tried to avoid my passion for writing because I hated my handwriting

but there was so much in my head and I had to get it out

so I talked a lot

and my mom got mad at me because I never shut up

but at least I wasn't down like my older brother who

spent his childhood listening to the cruel kids because

he wasn't a cool kid

but now my brother is the coolest guy

to ever sing you gwen stefani

and britney spears

and tell you that you look fabulous

but he might say it in italian because he's weird like that

I was the kid who tried to learn how to sign sign language so that I could pretend I didn't know how to talk

I was the kid that would block out noise by wearing headphones

but not even listen to the music

I was the kid who found my religion in the poetry that I write

I am the kid who had my first religious experience while clutching a pen

because I realized that the words that I wrote

were more powerful than I thought