I Thought It Was Kids Who Were Supposed To Be The Bullies
Location
A hand waves frantically
Sandy hair, red t-shirt, glasses,
He is not a friend
He is no enemy either
He is ignored.
2 minutes pass, perhaps.
"I gotta go to the bathrrom."
"Don't talk unless I call on you."
"But I have to go bad!"
"You can wait."
Softly,
"Nuh-uh..."
5 minutes of lecture
He begins to squirm
The hand goes up again
Teacher looks
And says nothing
"I'mma 'bout to pee myself, please?"
"Don't be melodramatic."
"I gotta go!"
"You can wait until after class."
He ceases to squirm
He has locked his legs into the final stage
His body will soon betray him.
20 minutes left in class.
There is no more time left.
Not for him
"Sir, he seriously has to go or he'll have an accident."
He is no friend of mine
My voice shocks me
Scares me
I never intervene
He is no friend of mine
"Quiet, don't encourage him."
He is shaking with effort
Eyes clenched
The twinkle of moisture-
Imagined?
-causes me to act
I grasp his hand
No friend of mine
I pull him to his feet
I do not know his name
I walk quickly to the door
"Hey!"
Get fucked
"Stop that right now!"
Go fuck yourself
"Go fucked!"
Stupid
STUPID
STUPID
The Hallway
We are free
I half drag him to the bathroom down the hall
He can't really walk for fear or wetting himself
He shuffles in
Fast as he can
Teacher opens the door
Not my friend
He is in the hallway
I want to say something
"The administrator is coming. I hope your little scene was worth it."
Don't even know his name
Administrator's office
They are talking inside
No one asks me anything
Parents yell
But do not ask
No dinner
More yelling
No tears
No questions
My fault
My fault
My Fault
ALWAYS
i did the right thing
I did the wrong thing
Little Brother's questions through the door
What I wanted to say to Teacher
"I thought it was kids who were supposed to be the bullies."