I Remember

( Who I am now )

 

Last year, I remember

Teary eyes and being “sick”

Hot pads on foreheads

Being good at faking

 

I remember

Hiding in the empty classroom

Heating the meal in the microwave

Eating in silence

 

I remember

Fearing the lunchroom

The stares

The whispers

 

I remember

Sweet voices

Laced with malice

Full of hate

 

I remember

Bathroom stalls

And damp fingers

On wet cheeks

 

I remember

Pushing

Praying

Waiting

 

I remember

That day

My life changed

 

I remember

In the car

 

I remember

My mom crying

 

I remember

Confusion and concern

 

I remember

“It was in the junk mail”

 

I remember most of all

Congratulations, you’ve been accepted…

 

I don’t have to remember, now

 

I am here, I am happy

 

I am looking at the old me

The me of 365 days ago

                 And saying “you did it”

 

I am smiling

Because here, where I belong

I have true friends

 

I am making plans again

Aspirations by my side

    Stimulation in my classes

 

I am looking forward

Seeing my future

Pushing away the dark

 

I am cherishing this gift

This new school I call home

No more “whore” or “fat”

 

Last year felt like collapse

Like dragging myself

Like swaying in the wind

  

This year

I am whole again

And I’ve found myself loving every moment