I needed you and you wasn't there,
You told me once " I'll always be there for you, i love you."
But you wasn't there,
I know i came to you at a wrong time.
I had just told you i wanted nothing to do with you ever again.
I had done some awful things.
I had came to rejoice in my time of need.
I know i had hurt you so i apologized, but i had done so one too many times, i can understand why you thought my sorry was just words.
I honestly wanted to repent and start over.
I needed you
I needed for you to comfort me with your words,
The ones you had spoken so often in the past to make me feel safe again,
To make me feel loved,
The words that made me feel like everything was going to be okay.
I needed you and you wasn't there.
I know your mad, but you hurt me too.
You don't even know what hurt me,
I never told you because i was ashamed of how i came across the information that would later lead to my vulgar outrage of hatred words towards you,
That me and you both knew i would take back full of regret.
You probably didn't think so soon,
Well me either.
Something had taken place and i couldn't understand why,
I knew you were the only person who could take me off edge.
Even with all the things i had done, i thought you would be the bigger person and listen to me,
as i begged for your forgiveness and a conversation.
Out of anger you refused.
Thinking it was about us, not thinking of my life obstacles and the little details i had shared with you of my past.
I needed you and you wasn't there.
You talked to me as if i was someone you didn't know.
As if i was a child that didn't know better.
It hurt so bad knowing you wouldn't be there for me, but it opened my eyes.
After i finished crying i sat and layed in the dark, understanding that you refusing me not just on this but on everything i threw at you it made me realize maybe your love for me isn't as authentic we thought it was.
The only thing that repeated in my head was;
I needed you and you wasn't there.