Dear boy I almost could have loved,

I miss you

I miss you like the sun misses the moon

Fine and then crashing

Slowly

So slowly

Until I’m gasping under the weight of missing you

Missing you and knowing

Knowing there isn’t an eclipse scheduled anymore

 

I miss you

I miss you like I miss the stars

Surrounded by artificial light

Staring at inky blue

Praying for a glimpse of the bright light

Something to let me know you're still around

Something to show I’m not alone

Knowing that the lights won’t turn off though

And I’ll be staring at the expanse of inky blue

 

I miss you

I miss you like a chained dog misses freedom

Pulled back by a chain I never knew was there

Straining against it

But never budging

The collar just gets tighter

I can’t breathe anymore

Knowing that there isn’t going to be any release

At least until I finally let you go

 

But I miss you too much

 

I miss you enough to keep falling

I miss you enough to keep staring

I miss you enough to keep straining

 

Because sometimes

Sometimes eclipses happen

Sometimes I see the stars in the sky

Sometimes I am released from my chain

 

But it always ends the same

The moon leaves

The stars get covered

And the chain pulls against me again

 

I’m just back to missing you

I'm just back to being me

 

The girl who almost could have loved you.