Hey me!

Are you listening to me?

Why are you alive?

God knows!

 

Dear me,

Wake up sweetie,

Miles to go

Before I break.

Poor me!

 

Councillings are dumb

Expectations are blind

Hopes lay down numb

Dreams, now where to find?

 

I am burning

I am dying

I am crying

I am vying

 

It’s about pen and paper

And few hours

It’s about bloody pen and paper

And few solemn hours

 

Immature, foolish, vagabond, careless…

 

Hey me?

Still studying?

Even now making mistakes?

Holy crap!

 

Dear me,

It’s from nine to ten.

The pages are nuts.

My mind has shut.

Sheer failure……..

 

Dramas are the latest religion.

Old swearing getting renewal.

Tension is the new passion.

Peace, where have you gone?

 

I am begging

I am hoping

I am trying

I am lying

 

It’s about books and labor

And few months

It’s about perfidious books and labor

And few bygone months

 

Looser, liar, martyred, no-where…

 

Still wondering why am I writing

Because I can’t write!

Every day I die a million times

Every night I lie a million times

Yet,

Everything is fair in love and war

 

Are you laughing?

At my state.

Are you crying

at my state?

Are you regretting?

At my state.

Are you spitting

at my state?

 

I am not a distant star

I am not an enigma

I am not a genius

I am just an INVESTMENT

 

Tried

Am re-tried

Will be tried

 

I know,

From now I will,

Sleep on these pages

Stay on these pages

Shine on these pages

Stray on these pages

 

Do I hate someone?

  Yes, myself.

Do I hanker something?

  Yes, my life.

Have I ever loved?

  Yes, someone.

Have I ever dreamt?

  Yes, something

 

Have I ever dreamt by?

  No, no one

Have I ever loved by?

  No, no one

Do I dream life?

  No, not me

Do I love me?

  No not me

 

I dream too big-

I love too bad-

I laugh too hard-

I hope too far-

I talk too much.

 

I am praying

I am struggling

I am slaying

I am draining

 

It’s about life and trials

And few years

It’s about harridan life and trials

And harrum scarrum years

 

Hopeless, murdered, afraid, lost ….

 

Tired

Was tired

Will be tired

 

Thou I,

Can I see me?

Can I hear me?

Can I feel me?

Can I call me?

Can I sniff me?

Can I touch me?

 

Though I,

I can’t see my old lively me.

I can’t hear my gossiping old me.

I can’t feel my old warm me.

I can’t call my brazen old me.

I can’t sniff my old smelly me.

I can’t touch my real old me.

 

Thou I,

I will see my new dead me

I will hear my new silent me

I will feel my new cold me

I will call my new reserved me

I will sniff my new scented me

I will touch my new fake me

 

Blind, dumb, deaf, bound…..

 

Hey me!

Are you watching me?

Why am I still smiling?

Destiny knows!

 

Dear me,

Look up honey,

Time and luck

Loves always ditching (you).

Why me?

 

The soul is ebbing

Live lacks life

The heart is sinking

I, What are you waiting for?

 

I am retiring,

I am fighting

I am drying

I am preying

 

It’s about hatred and opportunity

And few lives

It’s about pusillanimous hatred and opportunity

And few innocent hours

 

Metamorphosis, foolish, vagabond, careless….

 

I am holder of invisible beauty

I am winner of intangible championship

I am loved by a non-existing lover

I am praised by an unborn praises

I am kissing an unheard success

I am rejoicing over un-heard fame

I am followed by imaginary fans

I am cared after brain-built friends

I am dwelling in a wrecked house of hopes

Stairs of sand loves House of cards.

 

It is my luck,

To lose it all.

It is my luck,

To face it all.

 

My heart is immune

By all sort of insecurities.

My heart is immured

By all sort of miseries.

 

My heart is kind to all kinds...

 

For the story of I,

What stuff tis made of?

Lost

Hatred

Betrayal

Lovelessness.

Foolish hopes

Repeated failures

Regular heartbreaks.

A soul left dying,

A person left confronting,

A life left mourning.

 

I, it’s I!

 

What is my fault?

 

Why can’t I breathe?

I (you) am a Liar!

Why can’t I speak?

I (you) boast a lot!

Why can’t I see?

I (you) don’t deserve it!

Why am I always alone?

I (you) talk a lot!

Why am I always hurt?

I (you) am overconfident!

Why am I always crying?

I (you) am too sensitive!

Why am I sitting single?

I (you) am too crazy to mingle !

Why am I getting crushed?

I(you) am too bossy!

Why can’t I go for protest?

Girls don’t protest!

Why am I not entitled to live?

I (you) have no right!

Why am I loved being hated?

Everything in me is to hate about

 

Illusion, selfish, idiot, alien…….

 

I (they) hate my existence

I (they) hate my Luck

I (they) hate my reflection

I (they) hate my aggression

I (they) hate my foolishness

I (they) hate my popping face

I (they) hate my falling feelings

I (they) hate my soppy story

I (they) hate I (me)

 

I know in the eyes of ‘people’,

I am-

A worthless creature;

born good at nothing.

A quack writer

keeping on wasting ink.

A crazy person

worth keeping distant miles.

An immature person

disturbing the earthly equilibrium.

A self-proclaimed genius

new-born child knows much better.

 

The truth dawns,

I blame I!

Hang my daunting innocence!

Murder my ravaging talent!

Smother my tricky tales!

Burn my fiery ambition!

Assault my whiney trust!

Wreck my emotive eyes!

Trample by squandered brain!

Burry my hopeful heart!

Rip my rebellious soul!

 

As I am,

The weakest fruit

destined to fall.

The frailest bird

born to be feasted.

The weariest person

bound to embrace change of worlds.

 

I never hated anyone,

Everyone loves hating me.

I never mocked anyone,

Heaven is tasted being mocked.

I never ghosted anyone,

Ghost dwells within me.

I never ditched anyone,

Interest has no interest in me.

I never stirred ill luck,

Good luck sees no goodness in me.

 

Writing now I know,

What my greatest crime is-

I desired for love.

I ran after friends.

I cared about everyone.

I have spared emotion.

I reward trust easily.

I am too caring.

I take everything seriously.

I love picking burdens.

 

“It is a heinous crime to be bad…..”

 

I am not fifteen

I am not normal

I am not attractive

I am not matured

I have no manners

I have no charm

I have no charisma

People don’t get me

 

At the end of the day,

I still abound lovers...

Melancholy never leaves my trail.

Regrets can’t help regretting me.

Tears love tearing me apart.

Rejections tantalizingly wafting round me

Fear keeps on strangling perplexed courage

Hurt can’t get enough hurting me

Tragedy always renders me tragic

Loneliness wants to be lonely with me

 

“Love and happiness are forbidden words”

 

How long will I die like this?

How long will I rot like this?

How long will I sit like this?

How long will I wait like this?

How long will I strand like this?

How long will I die like this?

 

My dried eyes have dried viewing beaming love

My dead ears have given up on wordily consolation

My hapless feelings have lost their sense of feeling

My bunkering senses seem to lost their senses

My blocked nose fed up sniffing my sanguine tears

My sewn lips left untouched only to mumble mercy

 

Look I,

Watch me burn.

Hear me yelling.

Feel me gasping helplessly.

Touch me stabbing unrelently.

Sniff my mauling howling self

Call my estranged fumbling sanity

 

Are you satisfied?

 

Enjoyed?

Am enjoying?

Keep on enjoying!

 

Replay,Lights ,camera,action…….

 

I,

A girl left in Ambers.

Who,

Ended

In distant past

Is Ending

In dawdling present

Will keep on Ending

In upcoming future.

Her tired hopes that tried.…………………