It's hard writing poems lately

Because you sped up the beat of my heart

And twisted the words in my head so much

That I can barely put pen to paper

Without fucking up the order in which

Would make sense to everyone else.

I can't speak common English to my peers

Without choking out my

Words between my smile and their

Faces crumble up

Into awkward stares and they wonder why

I stand right there in front of them

With a wide smile and

Small laugh when they haven't gotten to the punchline

Of a joke they didn't even make yet.

But I don't mind it because for

The first time in a long time it's like I

Have been able to smile for no 

Reason at all but it turns out that it's

Because I was thinking

About you once again. 

My sleeping schedule has practically

Been thrown off a cliff into

A pit of hungry sharks ready to demolish

Anything that's handed to them.

I find myself replaying words you

Have already said at least a thousand

Times until even those words I have spent

Memorizing become fuzzy and clumped

Together to the point where they don't even

Sound like words at all.

But I don't mind it.

I wear the bags under my eyes so proudly

As if it were a new fashion trend.

People just assume I have been studying hard

For a coming up exam 

Or midterm or final

Really I am just laying in bed awake all night

And I don't mind it.

I don't mind listening to your voice in my head

Repeating meaningless nothings

Simple conversations and wishing

Of other things I should have said,

I pull apart your words

And count out all the syllables 

Replaying them over and over like a hit song

And I haven't even gotten passed hello.

My thoughts have been

Getting cut short because each time

I try to say something new, another thing

About you dances along and I can't help

But want to write about it too.

I think I found the light at the end of the

Tunnel and I think that it's you.

And I don't mind if I have to keep running

I will catch up to you.

Do you ever lay awake at night

And wonder about the same things I do?

Do you realize I still stutter your name sometimes

Because I have so many

Wonderful things to mention about you

And everything just wants to come

Out at once and my head is pounding with

All the great memories you have already given

To me even when we have only known each other

For such a short period of time.

I don't know what to say when they ask

What's the best part of me.

Because lately, that's always been you.

And you know what?

I don't mind it at all. 

I keep writing and it feels like

I have said the same thing over 

And over again

But if you're still here and if

You'll still be here when I wake up

Then that is more than enough for me.

I don't mind it if you stay my muse

For every single phrase I write

Because at least when it's you somehow

Everything makes more sense

Even when my voice gets

Cut off and leaves all my words left dangling in

The air.

You somehow make sense of

It all and for once I finally

Think I know what they meant when they say

You don't know what you're missing

Until you find it.

If you ever feel less happy with

Me, or grow sick of kissing the same

Lips, don't hesitate to leave.

They say if a poet falls in love with you,

You never die so just in case

Please don't pack my vocabulary away with

You because it will be all

I have left and I don't know what 

Else I think I'd be able to do if I didn't have

The words to make sense of it all.

But then again I don't

Have them now and I am sure somehow you 

Understand me anyways.

All of this has been strung in

Such a weird way to form a poem

That's maybe not so much like a poem and 

I want you to know I'd

Rather fight with you than kiss

Anyone else.

And I don't mind falling,

If you don't mind catching.