I Don't Know if I Can Go

Yesterday it hit me. 

It was a normal rehearsal with music I'd heard a million times.

But it hit me. 

Looking out at the rows and rows of empty seats during rehearsal, I realized that this is what I am meant to do.

I realized that this is where I belong.

The pounding of the drums, the guitar riffs that seem to float right through and around you, even my own voice in the microphone

seemed to be proof that I couldn't survive anywhere else. 

The music that I'd taken for granted, that I'd never paid much attention to was more real than anything else I knew.

The past year has shown me more songs, more notes, more harmonies than I can even begin to take in...

and it's almost over. 

I'll be leaving soon. 

The empty seats I saw in front of me won't be anything more than a memory.

I don't know if I can go. I can't seem to let go of the rythmns that make this place so special.

But what if I stay?

What if I give up everything to stay and be here for this, 

The music that's made me who I am? 

I don't know if I can go.

 

 

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