I Am the Like of Stars

My silence means every bit

As much as my words,

But it's all unnoticed.

Distracted by

The picture of a smile.

With pretty lights

To enhance the very soul

That uses those

To cover up

Its lack of existence.

I may bleed, but there's no pain

Just as there's none to be seen.

And there's nothing to gain

From pretending

But its required from everyone.

By everything,

For everything that remains

Untouched.

Pure of the vain

But still of the greed.

And they put me in a box

A long time ago.

But they switch me around

Every time

I grow older.

And they label it with my age,

My experience,

And my race.

Though, I guess I can't blame them,

For I have done the same.

And put them into a box

That I had labeled “EVERYBODY”

With black dye

That poured from my eyes,

As I cried over

And over

And over

Again.

And him.

And them.

And every little lost thing,

That everybody forgot,

But I could only dream.

Those images that still haunt me in my sleep

Still-frames taken with mind's eye.

With no reason to keep

Existing but still,

Through my belief,

It stays.

It lingers.

It only fades

If I'm focused on what

It brings,

When my soul starts to bleed

From the cuts it receives.

And still I'll try to dream.

Even as it seeps,

To the floor,

Touching my cold feet.

It absorbs me completely,

As I sweep into the darkness,

And it feeds that part of me,

As I try to hide,

Fearful of the black inside,

But still there's light.

And with caution I lean forward

And I catch my breath,

As I start to fall.

Suddenly then,

There's brightness in

And all around me.

Shooting me across the sky,

Of the blackest night,

That I've never seen.

But I wish I had.

Because then I'd see,

All these things that belong to me,

As I belong to them.

I weep for them,

The stars above,

As they weep for my absence

And I struggle to learn

Why they've sent me here,

Among those that darken me,

When I could be up there,

Bringing those others,

The light from me.

And fill their dreams with hope,

And shining things.

And absorb the dark,

Little by little,

Until I fade away.

 

But, no.

It's not that way.

It's not pretty.

It's not right.

And it's not perfect.

And it's not fine.

But it is my fate.

A projection of mind,

Hidden by light,

And made up with the paint,

And disaster that society brings.

But these are my things.

And these things,

I've found,

That have made

These most wondrous beings,

Have made a mistake.

A blotch on their record,

An ink dot on their masterpiece,

A lost cause,

 

Have made me.

 

And they're blind

So, they cant see.

So, I must be their eyes,

And tell them why

I'm so lost and crying,

With nothing to return

For all the time

I've spent here.

Lying here.

Shivering from the cold,

And drawing away

From the sun,

And this earth of old.

That all I know,

Is of a soul.

One lost,

And never home.

And never gold.

With nothing known,

Or felt,

Or shown.

And all it will say,

are brightly intense things.

Repeating forever it's name of “Me.”

And “I”.

And “Never let me die.”

And, “Cradle me inside,

Keep me hidden.

Let me sigh,

For I am your breath,

The key you seek,

The blank page staring,

Can't you see?

I'm weak.

And I'm losing this fight.

And I need

You to aid me.

Save me.

But don't replace me.

Keep me right here where I am.

Just hate me.

Like you always have.

And I'll win.

And you'll cry.

But sooner or later,

You'll know why

I asked this of you.

And you'll sigh,

Because you finally understand the reasons,

You've been holding these secrets,

When all you wanted

Was to release them.

And all you got from them,

Was what you gave yourself in turn.

For the pain the world brings you,

You'll die.

But you'll see,

I've only been trying to save you.

Because you and I are the same.

And I hate this name.

Let's change it to yours.

For we are one and the same.

You know me.

At least,

One should hope

That they know

It's themselves that is speaking,

To walls and empty shelves,

Long-ridden of books,

And memory fails you.

But I remember.

And I am you.”

My heart stops.

But I can see a smile.

And it's mine.

And then,

I know it speaks the truth.

I am this darkness

That speaks within.

Breathing fog into my head.

And it is me,

And always has been,

And I surrender to it.

I fall apart inside

And all my pieces collide.

And color splashes,

As time passes by.

And no one will even

Notice when I'm gone.

And they won't know,

That when they look up at the sky,

And see bright light,

In black and white,

That they can see me.

 

I can see me.

 

And all my broken pieces,

Scattered like a puzzle,

Are sometimes only

Put back together to cuddle,

And cradle the universe,

As it too cries out.

But I can't answer anymore.

My insides are dying.

And I am fighting,

But I can't keep trying.

And I realize this is me without the light.

This is me without the help

From anybody else,

That even pain was a mask,

I used freely on myself.

So, what I see now is lost,

And broken.

Damaged and spoken

Of in dark corners

But never open

To the idea,

That maybe I don't know

Who I am yet.

Or maybe I don't want to know,

And the universe is helping me,

To somehow understand that.

But, listen now.

Don't you hear it calling?

I think I'll take my leave now.

I've spent long enough in these shadows

But how?

I don't remember how I got here,

In the first place.

Or where I was when I lost my place.

Or anything at all that might resemble,

Even the spark of something

That should remain.

Oh, but I remember this much.

Simply my name.

And simply a phrase.

 

Amy,

a most tragic case.”

 

This poem is about: 
Me
Our world

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