I started out innocent

Like we all do

Just born not knowing, just feeling

I was just a child, just barely able to talk 

That was when my innocents ended and my adult life began

 

I was only six but I could understand

The tension in the room

The lines in the sand

I may never have seen my mom again

I got up in the days to raise my siblings

I made a stand

Do everything to keep my father sane

Even if he was a broken man

 

When mom pulled through I rejoiced

Thinking I may have a choice

To become a kid again

I was wrong

 

No more songs in the middle of the night

Just comforting words from me to another

Just the sonds of my heart becoming hard and cold as ice

 

I realized I was deppressed at twelve years old 

But I kept my tale untold

I realized I was cynical when I was thirteen

Realized I was close to comming suicide

Just to get away from my responsibilities

From the desperation that kept following

Was trapped in a strange place of blackness that I couldn't see the light

 

I has friends I could have played with them

But by fourteen I was just bone tired

Thinking about the bills to be paid

What could be done to help ease my mom's pain

 

I realize now that all my trials

All my  pain and desperation

My independance and temperment

They were given to me for a reason

They equiped me with what I need to succeed

 

Without the life I have lived

I wouldn't know what do with my life

I wouldn't have even thought to write

I wouldn't have thought to just stop and just be me

 

I am contrivertioal

I am independent

I am cheeky and unique

I hate to beg

I hate to be lied to

I love honesty

Loyalty

Equality

Poetry

I love me