I am… Nothing

I tell myself that almost everyday

And every day I have to stop and tell myself that

I am something.

And that one day I will be amazing.

I tell myself that I am ugly.

But I know that isn’t true, so I tell myself that I am

Beautiful.

I am happy.

That’s what I want to be one day.

Happy with who am I am.

Happy with what I do.

I just want to be at peace with myself.

But for right now I am confused.

About who I am.

Who I want to be.

What I want to do.

And now I’m at the age where people want to know all these thing about me.

Like I am so sure of myself.

“What college are you going to?”

“What career are you going to have?”

I don’t know.

But for now I say. “If I get this scholarship I am going to University of Southern Cal.”

But that’s only if they accept me.

There are so many “ifs” in life.

That I can’t say who or what I am.

Cause I am is so definite

That means it can’t be changed

And as much as I want to say that I am this

Or I am that

I know I can’t because sometimes “ifs” in life happen

And when they happen I will have to change to fit them

So all I can say is

I am always changing.