How can you extinguish without the proper tools? The fire burns all in its path without regard to fools. Am I a fool? Or simply crazy? Do I find that I am lazy? These are thoughts going through my head like a tree’s roots running in the ground. I am trying to figure it all out, life is like a calculus equation or maybe it’s a station where you get a little fix and your on to the next part, is there something after this? I can’t see what’s in front of me let alone what’s in my past, so how can I stand here and speak so damn fast? These words they flow and I wish they wouldn’t, I have spent enough nights hating myself so you couldn’t. Do you know how it feels to contemplate death and people ignore you like a guy fucked on meth? I have too much pity for me so people don’t give a shit, I think that’s why it works so well, wouldn’t you admit? There is a rhyme worth something more, but I don’t give a fuck, these are my words I will not change even if it means I duck. Your speculations are amputations for my contemplations. I have no cares and you no wares for all is sinking fast. Don’t act like you love me and pray to your God to save my precious soul, if I rotted in hell you could not tell, because you have no soul. This is a poem worth anger intent on bending the world we “humbly” live, I don’t have to say what is already said so I figure I’d just fuck some shit. My language is foul and some would say stupid, or even uneducated wouldn’t that suit it? I do not care about rules or guidelines when it comes to my rhymes so don’t bother measuring even with your straight lines. I came here to talk so you better listen my anger is real even more than wet kissin’. It is close to the end of my unconvention, you better believe I just made up that word, its better than your polished turd. You came here to judge and I hope you did because that’s what you should do with all of your fibs, you lie to yourself and at least I am honest, I do not boast of some friendly house shit. I wish I were different but that’s all the same I guess God just made me this way. I’m angry, I’m bitter, but what does it matter? For all we know we are just harmless chatter. Maybe one day I will settle my fears and stop trying to hide behind titties and beers, I wish I could love with a passion like some, but something inside me just makes me so numb. The end seems so near but when will it come? The light I can see and her name is Grace, she is the key and I hold to her face. The only thing that keeps me sane and all of these poems incorporate her name. Somehow I think of her even in my darkest, she pulls me out of hate and into her kindness. She sees some good in this fucked up soul and how could I hurt her? I hate myself more when I make her cry but something inside me won’t let my love die, I push through my fears and all that’s within me to fight for a woman that’s more than I can be. I will never give up no matter the cost I will find a way to be her true hoss. I love that woman no matter my anger, and when I wake up I am going to kiss her sweet lips and tell her she matters, because my love is like a strong handed batter, swinging his bat and nailing that ball with all of the might that strength can befall, as it soars into the sky so is my love for Grace oh my. This poem is dark and maybe too battered but this is my life and I cannot change such as is. Maybe one day some young man will read this who is struggling to find someway to reach his own strength within, and he will soar with his own love high into the sky reaching out to touch his own lover and my oh my it will all be worth it. Do not worry if you are angry it does get better you just have to get through. People will tell you some awful things and your life will feel like it is splintering, but do not stop, no do not falter, because one day son, you will find your altar. This is the end but I will leave you with this, anger and fear are only a list. Happiness is something within; you just have to find it without your list. You preconceived ill perceived notions of life must be thrown out the window along with your strife. Give all you can and never look back for this is love without which we lack.