hope is elusive,

something hard to find

and hard to have.

 

but yet we all hope for a better future and a better lover

why?

why get your hopes up because of false expectations?

 

the thought is beyond me,

i’m hopeless

and lost of dreams.

 

i once saw my dreams shred in front of my eyes

gradually over time.

do you know what it is like to see something so beautiful die?

 

i killed them with my bare hands,

murder in cold blood

when i realized life is tough and living is hard.

 

i let my hope suffocate with a pillow stuffed full of reality,

i slit its neck with my own two hands before someone could do it for me

i drowned it in the bathtub full of my tears

- full of my fears.

 

i concocted the water myself,

it wasn’t hard, really.

i took everything i feared and milked it clean.

 

the bathtub full of anxiousness

and depression

everything i have but hoped to get rid of.