Hey, Arnold!

I am

about as young as I will ever be

the beard is looking thin

but the mind is a lifetime of memories

like remember? When I was thirteen?

Skateboards and bursts of energy

now I'm still a teen getting out of bed

slower than a centipede.

The 90's Babies aging

even when we were two or three

I used to open the mail

and I kept those AOL CDs

feeling like the man

since "To the Residents" was meant for me

and sometimes I still messed around with the IMs


because I am

about as dumb as I will ever be

never again will you see me without a coat

in 33 degrees

playing in the snow and catching cold was always guaranteed

so my mama had taught me

and Robitussin had stopped me

"Why are you fussing with the teachers?

Don't think that you could get cocky.

Getting a big head will make those grades

start looking sloppy"

God always had a plan for me

that I used to never see

So now I'm in the black Ivy League

instead of buying seed


because I am

the master of my fate

the favorite of my fables

the character I'm creating

is history in the making

the mystery in the meaning is clear to me

because I am... nothing in comparison to what I will be

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