he's like a bad drug

The acids in my stomach threaten to erupt out of me when I think of him

with someone else. 

I see the color of the sky at dusk and think of him. 

I think of how overly confident he is with himself,

how much I both admire and hate him for this. 

He whistles to me in the hall, never calling me by my name. 

I know all that he wants from me is all any one ever wants.

I wish I didn't give in to him everytime, 

but being close to him is like laying with the angels.  

I look at his face and for a moment he's all mine.

I am his all of the time and he knows this. 

Cement floods my limbs when I think of him with someone else.

I would love so much to vacate him from my mind

to be able to be happy on my own

but no matter how many times he disappoints me 

I just can't help it.

My soul melts when I see him and

he looks at me

and his smile curls from the side of his mouth.

He is the number one occupant of my mind 

He is my tragic downfall- the reason I suffer.

I hold back the vomit and the tears and the anger

How long will I let him ruin me.


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