I committed suicide
In my own house
That is why it sold
For a decent price

The people that live there
Are decent folks
But they don’t know
The home has a ghost

I live in the closets
And under the beds
I move random objects
And make creepy noises

Nothing works
To scare them away
The family are atheists
They don’t believe in anything

Then I get a great idea
I’ll turn myself into a belief
It scares the hell out of them
And they run to find skepticism

The house is sold for pennies on the dollar
To a nice Christian couple
They will finally exorcise me
And I’ll be a ghost no more