Hatred.
Your bruises
Went deeper than my skin.
They wounded my heart
My soul
My mind.
They ache
With such longing
For a better life.
It hurts
Because I love you so much
But you don’t seem to love me back.
Maybe you’re just scared
Of losing me
Maybe it’s just
What you always went through as a kid
Playing out
Involuntarily.
Trauma does that to you.
But the doctors
They tell me it’s not an excuse.
I kept my promise
And didn’t go to the doctor myself.
You just threw me against the wall
And I hit the metalwork
And started bleeding out.
You didn’t mean to.
I know that.
But you were scared
And the baby was crying
So you called 911.
It was one of the hardest things you
Have ever done.
And when it happened—
The incident—
You cried.
You felt so bad
You had hurt me.
You took that same anger,
That same fear,
And pointed it at yourself.
You pulled the trigger
Of your hatred.
You jumped off the bridge
And drowned in your depression.