how many days did I sit on this stoop in the dark 

and wonder if i’d ever be happy?

how many times did i wait for the sun to fall out of the sky 

aching for a connection i thought i’d always be searching for?

a lot of things i never predicted 

like, to start - 

the love letters i wrote to him were misadressed

because they should’ve gone to her instead 

i can’t believe i can look back and say that this is what it’s all been for 

this is why i was waiting, this is why i was lonely

this is why i was just coasting, killing time til i could wake up one day

and realize what it meant to have love in your life 

the butterflies in my stomach rush through their ballet

and i grin up at my bedroom ceiling in the silence, 

and i extend my gratitude to every part of the universe 

that worked to bring me her.