I’ve held a handgun loaded with excuses

Underneath my tongue ever since I was young

To cover your abuses

 

“She didn’t mean that” I’d say

“He just upset” I’d whisper

Clicking away at my little trigger

While my excuses got bigger and bigger

 

“He’s had a rough day”

“She’s just really stressed”

“I was in her way”

“He just needs some rest”

All these excuses for your verbal misuses

 

And in the end the gun is unloaded

And I am left so bloated with these bullet holes

That my self esteem pours out of

I am defeated and deflated, I feel hated

By everyone who I love

 

Because I’ve kept your words with me

Though I’ll excuse the pain away

They are burning through my soul

Every second of every day

 

The words that have been whispered,

Screamed or nonchalantly said

Or those left unspoken

That would drift in the air over my head

 

These words have seeped into my skin

And melded to my brain

They’ve burrowed in my veins

And they’re driving me insane

 

But I looked in a mirror yesterday

And saw, staring back at me

Reflections of the words you’d say

The words you’d scream so loud standing outside my house

Or whisper quietly while we walked through the library

I see now that these words beat me up, put me down

and knocked me out and kept me in

 

So today I throw down my handgun

Gone is your last excuse

They never healed me or helped you

And I’m done with your abuse