can you ever forgive 

can you ever forgive a man who hurt you?

Is my father only my father until one of us forgets?

is the hand holding mine going to let go once I squeeze?

Am I just a mirror 

born to reflect my user

smeared with lipstick and handprints 

cracked in places 

I still work

I can still show you what you want to see

What does a mirror do when there is no one to reflect?

 

WHO I AM I WITHOUT THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE HURT ME

WHO I AM I WITHOUT MY PAIN

 

Are my smiles lies I tell myself?

Or is the real me cracking through 

Am I someone fresh beneath the surface 

 

or will my users find another mirror 

another daughter or two

 

Just wrap me up in bubble wrap and throw me away

save your conscience 

say that you tried to protect me

delude yourself into believing that it was for the best

my cracks are too ugly now

I can’t reflect properly anymore 

What is the world but just mirrors reflecting mirrors

finding people who remind me of my old reflection 

 

I place my hand against this porcelain face of mine

My cheek is cold against the glass of my hand

careful 

I could shatter

I wait for someone to hold my fragile hand one last time

but the phone goes to voicemail when I call

 

I slowly wrap my arms around myself 

hold myself tight 

tighter

breathe

tighter 

keep breathing 

tighter 

keep gasping for air

tighter

keep try to consume any oxygen whilst my ribs crack under the pressure 

tighter 

i let go of one last sigh

 

I wish I could hold my own hand for me

I wish I could seal up my cracks alone

I wish I could fill the void cant get rid of

I don’t know who started chipping away at my soul but it isnt stopping

The hole in my chest gets bigger with every connection i make

 

I wish I was the moon

reflecting the suns light in such great beauty 

if I was the moon

I think i could be happy