THAT HAND

Is this reality, truth, fact, something tangible for my heart to grasp?

Or is this the dream I’ve dreamt every night for the past six years of my life since that hand left my hand alone to feel the bare and cold wind pass?

If this is the dream, don’t anybody wake me up

‘Cause only in this dream can my dreams come true of me with him

And he with me for the rest of eternity.

But if this is the dream, then somebody please wake me up so I can face the cold harsh reality that God has given me

And grin and bear the bitterness of a black girl’s reality.

 

See in my dreams, I encounter love on several occasions,

But in my reality, he manifests himself as the mystery which keeps me wandering and pondering why that hand ever left my premature hand in the first place.

Did that hand forget that when lovers make love there is a possibility that responsibility can be birthed as a penalty for their faulty commonality that was made personally through the temporality and guilty pleasures of sex?

Maybe that’s why I pleasure in the spirituality of letting two bodies intertwine in the formality of making love and the sensuality of practically defying the restrictions placed on me.

See his irresponsibility and misguided perception of love was innately birthed into me the moment he let go of my hand.

It’s something that I have inherited from this man and now has become my only reality.

 

That’s why I dream this sweet dream of that perfect guy for me to mend the blisters that hand left me with when it pulled away from me.

In this dream that perfect angel loves me unconditionally and treats me like the queen he sees in me.

 

If this is the dream don’t anybody wake me up

‘Cause only in this dream can my dreams come true of me with him

And he with me for the rest of eternity

But if this is the dream, then somebody please wake me so I can face the cold harsh reality that God has given me

And grin and bear the bitterness of a black girl’s reality.

 

No! My reality!

My reality that tells me that even though that hand left my hand alone six years ago, there is another hand, a different kind of hand that has, along the way, gladly taken its place.

A hand willing to show my hand what it means to be held and never let go.

A hand willing to have patience with me when I am confused and simply don’t know.

A hand willing to do anything to see my happiness shine pure.

A hand that knows how to love me through truth.

 

So if this is the dream don’t worry about waking me up

‘Cause only in this dream can my dreams come true of me with him

And he with me for all the rest of eternity

To help me face the cold harsh reality that God has given me.