Gwendolyn Zenda Shoshanna Rose Bakhajain Rogers. This of course is my real name. It wasn’t until the summer of 2009, the summer before I began high school, that I learned the true importance of my name.

Even though I grew up with the non descript last name Rogers, I always knew my father and his family were Iranian born Jews who fled Iran to escape religious persecution. However, this was all I knew about my father and his family. Years and events passed, birthdays, my first days of school, even my Bat Mitzvah, I experienced all of these as Gwen Rogers with a complete absence of my father’s family and culture. Looking back, my father was completely dismissive of who we really were and he wanted my little brother and me to live only as “Rogers.” Whenever we asked about what our life was like in Israel, he would say “Don’t you have homework to do?”

This all changed one day when my father sat down my brother and me while he was watching CNN. What I saw on the screen was the streets of Tehran filled with protesters carrying images of a young woman. My father said, “This is why I wanted you to grow up as ‘Rogers.’” I later learned that during protests over the new Iranian election a young female student had been shot and killed. After thinking about what had happened that day I finally understood my father’s motives. He did not want us to know about a place where a woman could not a get a good education, go out of the house by herself, or think and act as I do. He did not want us to know about a life where we could be killed for doing everything that he had fought to give us.

This moment brought about an awakening in myself. An awakening as an Iranian, an awakening as an American, an awakening as a woman. I have not held it against my father for trying to protect me from some of the unfortunate events of our homeland. But now I have tried to combine all of these experiences and aspects of myself to reach an understanding of my background, past, present and future. As a journalist, I’ve worked on not only developing my own voice but also the voices of women who cannot speak. As a yoga instructor I’ve sought to share my spirituality with many others. Finally, I’ve trained to become an EMT to fulfill my family’s legacy of helping others regardless of ethnicity, race, or borders.

My parents got divorced almost 10 years ago, and my mother has raised my brother and me alone ever since. This has taught me to be self-reliant and independent. I have never been handed anything or really had much help in my life. I will be expected to pay for college myself between, scholarships, financial aid, and loans.

Now I’m looking for a place where I can embrace my full being. An environment, which will help, foster my continued awakening and prepare me to realize all of the aspects of my background. I want to be part of a progressive social and cultural consciousness where my father does not have to fear that I will be persecuted for my individuality. I’m looking for a school where I don’t have to be Gwen Rogers. I’m looking for a school where I can be Gwendolyn Zenda Shoshanna Rose Bakhajain Rogers.