How one looks back

At the clouded idea of what has happened

Defines how the future will unfold

Pain

That used to be scraped knees

Or a break up with the one you thought was "the one"

Then I truly found out

What pain looks like

Pain is the lonesome beat of a heart monitor in a dark hotel room

Clinging to the last ounce of hope 

That everything might end up okay

And you will get to live a life without the dark shadow of cancer

Following you around at every turn

Nineteen was supposed to be bonfires at the beach

And long nights studying for tommorrow's midterm

Instead I lay hooked up to countless machines with a gaze

That can only be described as broken

Two weeks flew by as slow as they could

And when the final diagnosis was read

Eupohia overtook the feeling of any medicine they could put in me

...Benign

In that moment, all my future hopes and dreams had the chance

To become a reality

Since then

I have travelled across the world

I have fallen in love

And most importantly

I have realized that I have been broken

Sitting in that hospital room

And I found a way to put myself back together

Now everytime pain comes knocking at my door

I open the door, knowing I can take whatever it has in store

And for that

I am thankful for my time in pain

For it taught me 

That the worst pain brings with it the largest opportunities 

To grow.