He came home late last night

I was never taught how to fight

He loves me, to him I owe

My body. I've been told by him so

 

He hurts, but then apologizes

I forgive, for in his eyes is

It has to be regret

I thought I could forget

 

I sit in the bathroom crying

Early morning sun is shining

How did it get like this?

I cannot just dismiss

 

But he loves me, right?

I should've felt delight

I guess it was my fault

It couldn't have been sexual assault

 

If only I enjoyed it

Maybe if I had changed my outfit

He wouldn't have struck me

But I can't accept another apology

 

What has my life become?

Was I always taught to succumb?

No longer will I live like this

I need to get out- achieve full bliss

 

He comes home late tonight

This time I put up a fight

I say I don't owe him anything

He begins to swing

 

I run as fast as I can

I grab the keys to his van

I drive downtown

Where the police can be found

 

I report him and they do a test

To make sure I do not just detest

I go with them for the arrest

And my shoulders can finally rest

 

I pack my things, and leave the house that wasn't a home

He can't hurt me anymore, but now I'm all alone

Is it normal to feel...sad?

The madness has ended. I should be glad

 

The weeks go by and I see him everywhere

I'm too scared to sleep in my underwear

But he isn't there

I should not be scared

 

The months go by, I rarely see

Him in my head. I see more clearly

I deserve better than constant fear

Too much I've gone through to get here

 

Over a year goes by and I'm doing just fine

I met a man who I can call mine

He doesn't yell or drink

What was I doing before? It makes me think

 

It's because he loves me

That he changed the way I see

I no longer live in fear

Of the consequences of his beer

 

It's because he loves me

That I know an 'I love you' is something you can see

It must be shown

Not just blown

 

It's because of this he taught me

That I can go to bed and feel healthy

I thought I loved before

Then I discovered real love, and I no longer feel like a whore 

 

Mentally I am stronger

Because I no longer ponder

About his authenticity

When he tells me he loves me

 

 

 

Author's Note: This poem is for anyone who is or was in an unhealthy relationship, and to spread awareness to all others. Security is the most important factor in a relationship. If you do not feel safe with your partner, you should not be with them. Once security is administered, only then can factors like trust, sense of humor, and love come into play. Just because they tell you that they love you doesn't mean anything; they must show you that they love you. If you constantly live in fear of your significant other, you should not be with them. Mania love is unhealthy. You are strong, and are worth more than they make you think. You can get away, you just have to believe in yourself. Don't settle. Find your happiness. For those of you who got out of that relationship, you should be very proud of yourselves. Don't ruminate for too long. To those who have never experienced anything like this, look out for warning signs and watch out for yourself and others before things get out of hand. It is much more common than you might think. No one deserves to live in fear.

Domestic Abuse Hotline (operators are able to communicate in over 200 languages) 1-800-799-7233

Domestic Abuse Hotline for the Deaf or Hard of Hearing 1-800-787-3224