Goodbye
I wish we could be together more.
The feeling takes my breath.
Choking, yet warming.
Healing, yet heartbreaking.
Because I know
the sickening feeling of your departure
looms on the horizon.
But I don't dwell on that much
as I run my fingers through your locks.
Or, at least I try not to.
I smile to you warmly,
trying to distract myself
from the looming mass
hovering above me.
Above us.
You can't stay...
How did I survive the last time you left?
How did I handle it at all?
How could I even try to...?
Your soft eyes hide
under lids as we kiss slowly.
My mind frays
back to that empty feeling I have when
your warmth is gone...
The emptiness I feel
when your hand leaves mine,
when your grasp loosens
on my neck and we part,
both muttering quiet comforts;
"Shh, love." and
"It's not that bad." and
"Don't you cry."
But I feel that lump in my throat-
more developed than it seems like in
times before as I whisper,
"I love you so much."
Love is harsh and painful.
Though it is also soft and healing.
I kiss you deeper,
with overwhelming passion.
I'm close to tears,
but damn I hope you can't tell.
I'm supposed to be the strong one...
Why am I so emotional now?!
I can cry later when I'm alone.
Just calm down.
I have you right now.
That's honestly all that matters.
Even if it's just for a few moments.
I pull you closer,
and our chests rise and fall
slowly together as we embrace.
In and out, like the tides.
The oceans-
always moving,
always strong,
always constant.
This is here, this is now!
In this moment,
we are the tides,
the sea.
We stand tall-
against disapproval,
against all our demons,
against the odds.
And in this moment,
we kiss as if the very last fragments
of the universe are strung together
by the tips of our lips.
We can't let go
for fear that it will slip away.
It will disappear.
As if the other will vanish when we pull apart.
Though, we do.
