Goldilocks, in the May,

Was walking through the woods one day,

When she came across a home

With free WIFI for her phone.

Breaking many laws that day,

Goldilocks thought she would stay.

In the kitchen she saw three bowls,

Full of porridge but one was cold.

The second was much too hot,

Cooked with chilis in a pot.

The third gave her a new sensation.

It made her full of great elation.

After filling her belly,

She took some selfies #jelly.

Out of the corner of her eye she glimpses,

A big TV 50” (inches)

She runs into the next room fast,

She tripped and fell and cried “Whiplash!”

She crawled over to a chair,

That was big enough for a bear.

It was much too hard for her bum,

So she found another one.

It was old and stained with many scrapes,

It looked like an old woman’s drapes

She said “omg  wtf -

Lol that chair’s a mess.”

After the intelligent words she spoke,

She sat in the third, but then it broke.

Goldilocks had no idea,

But the chair was from IKEA.

“Life’s so hard” Goldie said,

So then she went to find a bed.

She walked into a room with three,

She jumped and spinned and yelled “Yippee!”

She crawled into one and fell asleep.

She was so silent there were no peeps.

Three bears walked in and saw Goldie’s phone,

And then they said,” Is someone home?”

They walked upstairs to the beds,

They woke Goldie and the big one said,

“Who are you in our home?”

The little one said, “Leave us alone.”

The police arrived and arrested the foe.

The last thing she said was, “Well, YOLO.”