The last time I believed in God
I was 6 years old in Sunday school
I asked my teacher why we believed in a man above the clouds
I loved that woman, but her answer wasn't enough
All she was able to say was "Just have faith and the Lord will save you"
Children are simply meant to blindly believe what they are told, but some how I couldn't
I was defected
Because that was the day I stopped believing

The last time I spoke to God
I was 16 and losing sight of who I was
I asked him why he thought he deserved so much credit
For the world he made
A world that self destructs
A world where people find it so hard to breathe they take their life
A world where we can't see ahead of us because the future crumbles before it comes

I asked him why he let his children starve
Why he let them cry at night with no hope to hold on to
Why he let them hurt, shrivel up and die
Why he let them live in poverty

I asked him why I was supposed to have undying love
For a man who doesn't cherish the creation of his own two hands

A father
Who doesn't pay child support
Who doesn't hold his child in his arms
Who doesn't tell them he loves them
Who doesn't put food on the table
Nor a roof over their heads
Who doesn't speak or console
And who leaves his children alone and unprotected
Unsupervised and broken down

If we hold our own human fathers up to this standard, then why don't we hold the father of all responsible for his neglect?

The last time I prayed to God
I wasn't kind
I didn't ask for anything
I simply called him out
If a God truly exists
I hope one day he is put accountable for his crimes
And is punished for his sins