As a child I was told everything happens for a reason

So when bad things happen I come to question myself

What did I do

What did I do a 6 year old child do to be thrown off a porch

without a second glance

As I looked her with sad eyes expecting a second chance

What did i an 8 year old girl do to deserve to be vigorously violated  robbed of the only valuable thing i had to offer to a grown man

And i sit face in my hands as I'm told I am not a victim and I shouldn’t pretend that i am

What did I do to deserve the treatment I got …

What's the someone explain why I should have to stop and retrace my whole existence to find a reason for my mistreatment  

why I have to explain my emotions to those who could care less

Somebody give me the reason

Why I feel like a cloud that rains on everyone's parade

Weights tied to the feet of the drowning man trying to climb his way to his last breath

Why do I feel like death is the only release from pain

My umbrella in the rain

somebody please explain why I run in an endless cycle in attempt to escape my own thoughts

And no matter how fast I go I always seem to get caught