to a newly seventeen year old me:

i know how angry you are

i know the feeling in your chest when he tells you that you're just not quite enough for him

but i promise you that it is his loss

half a year later and this "relationship" of yours is still doing damage.

do not be upset that he does not love you

don't get angry with the world because you will not ever get to love him, either

get mad because he said that you were "not that pretty"

get furious because he said that you were "conceited"

but do not do not do not shed tears because it was over before it started

we are lucky

we find our first love the same summer he will tear our heart to pieces and watch it float into the wind

we find love in ourselves

we are so so lucky:

we get to love ourselves before we ever love anyone else.

sincerely (and with much more love for you than you currently have for yourself)

a version of you who's found herself even though she lost him

p.s. you aren't there yet, but i promise you'll get there eventually

p.s.s. tell your sister you love her more