Who I am. 

Searching in the deepest corners of the oceans

The uplifting smirk of  my smile and soul.

Big Bad Bold. 

Rough around the edges but gentle in the core. I know how to handle. I know how to deal. 

But my saving grace has vanished from my life and I am a pit of despair. I know happy and smiley on the exterior but on the inside I am kicking and screaming for something better

Its like I've been awken. I can soar right into the sky or crash into the ground. 

Its my choice, whats yours? I am person. 

I just want to be a big bad beautiful person who is successful

Without the smiley exterior I  am a ball of stress who can barely take it

The knife is cutting me slowly but I eventually I will cut deep enough that the pain and stress will be bearable for a fleeting moment

I will keep pushing

I will  dug deeper 

I will kick harder 

I will scream louder

than anyone 

to succeed. 

But for what?

I must not doubt mself.