selfish

i get called that more often than i get called insecure

funny

you should insult me

more accurately

 

call me

insecure because i hate myself

i wonder why

i’m not good enough

i feel ugly beneath makeup

i frown sideways looking in a body mirror and a facial

expression isn’t enough to express

my disappointment in myself

 

call me

insecure because that’s my excuse

i’m so deep in self hatred

i’m so afraid you’ll escape from my grasp to walk to

another girl

a dog

chewing through its leash to bark and sniff at the lady across the street

you chewed through

i chewed through my wrist

the one that held your hand

i might have nibbled

on the limb

pain is delicious

 

i refuse to believe

i am selfish because i was never

the center of the universe

you were

i lived in a constant state of anxiety

and paranoia named OK

gravity would probably abruptly stop

pull a block out of my Jenga life and send it tumbling

out of orbit

 

i guess you were another shooting

star

or more accurately

a piece of trash burning up in my atmosphere