Heartless.

Soulless. 


Memory of memories,

Dream of dreams,

Fading light into


Shattering obscurity. 


Where do we come from? 


Where are we bound? 


Perpetuity is a shadow


That materializes over all,

And we cannot escape it.


I want to know these things.


What does heartless mean?


What does it mean to have no soul?


All of my memories,

All of your dreams


Are they real?


Or are they fabrications of a fanatical mind


Trying to make sense of the world?


When we daydream, is it us?


Or are we the daydream?


Or, similarly

Are we the nightmare too?


So much is blanketed in shadows


And we can never touch the light.


Will we ever see the day?

Or are we locked in infinity


For that is from where we come?

And where are we bound,

Humans?

Can we dictate who and what we are?


We pray to God,


We beg for forgiveness


From one who theoretically exonerates us.

And yet we need to beg more.

This interminable question plagues me.

I accept that there can be a God

And I pray that there is a God.

But does he hear me?

Does he know me?

Most say he does,

But I wonder sometimes.


I struggle over useless things


Far in the distance,

While the shadows around me

Consume me.

I can't let anyone in


But I cannot refuse them either.


Dusk to dawn


Dawn to dusk, right.


The revolution of the earth


Merely marks a countdown to the end. 

What happens when that timer hits zero?

Time may pass us by,

But I’ll never forget what I am.

Remember that we live in a world


That tries to erase us
and

Make memories out of our realness. 


I'm not ready for this to be just a memory.

I want to live in this realness just one more,

And though it may seem to pass,

One hour,

One day,

Even if it is for one second,

We all should see each other again.


Memories of pleasant times fade,

But memories of friends never do.

Though the clouds are hanging over,

There is always a break of sunlight,

Of starlight,

The light of the moon,

One sun,

One moon,

One sky,

Connecting us all.


We only reach for the moon,

But we hope to be among the stars.

Never let your light die,

Though the chill sets in.


Ice forms on the crown of the ground


Cloaking our heads in a wreath of darkness.

Nights fall in this heavy, suffocating cloak,

Characterless are we.

Temperaments surround us

With a lachrymose
feeling.

The light within us

Flares once then dies,

Crushed by guilt.

All hope dies sometime.

Your hope is no more

Than a feeling,

Just like that sadness,

You feel it now.

Is your hope to start over?

Would you solve the problems you couldn’t before,


Do the things that you would not?


Would you reinvent yourself?


Would you love you as you are

Or drag yourself lower

Than what you already think of yourself?

If you could start over,

Would you improve yourself?

Could you improve yourself?

Raise yourself up onto a pedestal?

Fix your mistakes

And make gold from your nonsense?

Or would you follow in your own footsteps,

Fall where you fell and succumb to the same issues?

Would you slip on steppingstones

That you’ve overstepped?

Would you just make things worse,


And leave yourself with zilch to work with?

If you could start over,

You’d see you’re better off without yourself.

You would turn to yourself for answers,

Desperately clutching at your rulebook,

Because you’re more lost than you were before.

Shadows play among the falling stars


That shimmer in day and night.


A gentle hush falls among the ice


Forming a wrap of silent gray upon the land.

This silence is deafening, internally. 


The lack of emotion and of life


Sings to the senses a hymn


That seems to never end.

A space between these seasons,

Life and death and life again


Limited boundlessness running the atmosphere,

To the Earth,

The silence persists through the falling hints.

And the world’s stagnations

Are until it wakes from its somnolent trances.

The eyes close,

The breath halts,

The heart stops,

Silence endures.

Dreaming while awake

Is such a pleasant state,

Turning reality into fantasy


The heart brightens up with a smile on my face

When the madness turns to grace


In a world where we can both enjoy forever, eternity

There lies a scary truth for me


That says this can not be


That’s when reality gains control


And shatters all my dreams

The one with false hope says,

“I want this until the stars burn cold.”

It is true the stars burn blazingly and so far away

And that the heat is incalculable.

But none of this heat can reach those here.

In the deepest calamity, the stars do not fade

But they give no heat, no promise,

They are cold. 


They are distant, but beautiful

Worshipped by monotonous dupes

On this earth,

Eternally shining


Mere glimmers,

Lacking any warmth whatsoever.

Subzero gleams of luminescence

Scattering the shadows of the sky

Are cold,

Unforgiving,

Eternal.


They are devices that produce the light

That shines to us here

Passionlessly,

Coldheartedly,

Unfailingly

Untrue to the naked eye.

The one with false hope says,

“I want this until the stars burn cold.”

The one with true hope says

“I want this until the stars fade.”

Conclusion comes in a spray of fading stars

When this freezing sets in.

 

Copyright 2014 Isaiah M. Williams