Freedom

I could say I don't know how i got here,
And i could blame this on whoever,
But at the end of the day, it was me.
This is all my fault and I don't feel like there's any coming back from it.
My reason? 
I was tired.
Tired of trying to be the perfect student,
Tired of trying to be the perfect daughter,
Tired of trying to be the perfect friend,
Tired of helping but being left, 
Tired of loving but being hurt,
Tired of being there for everyone but no one there for me,
Tired of loving thy neighbor who keeps kicking me,
Tired of forgiving only to be hurt again,
Tired of building an appropriate image,
Tired of living to satisfy society's religion,
Tired of being the nice girl who gets fucked over,
Tired of making everyone happy but never being happy.
I was tired.
This is for every girl that's ever treated me indifferent because of my mindset,
This is for every clique that's shunned me because of my dress and my choice of friends,
This is for every classmate who has made me feel inadequate for being intelligent,
This is for every guy that has said I'm a good girl, but too good,
This is for every person who felt i was good but not good enough,
Fuck you.
As for everyone who says I've changed.
Yes, i did change.
Whether it was for better or worse, I can't even say.
All i know is i stopped pushing.
I stopped trying to be what everyone expected,
I stopped trying to please people,
I stopped trying to be perfect.
Because at the end of the day, i was miserable and tired.
This day, I search for my own happiness and want to live my own life.
You can judge all you want but I'm done pleasing everyone's views.
And if that causes me to spin out of control or if it causes my life to turn upside down, so be it.
I made that choice. My life is MINE.
For once in my life, i truly do not care what anyone thinks. I live for me, not for you.
Call it what you want, but i call it freedom.

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