Ohkay
Well where do I begin?
It's nice to see you.
Umm we've got the same nose
I've missed you alot
I'm sorry
I suppose I should be more excited
because while others go through their entire existence
Without ever meeting their stem
I have this opportunity to tell you what you've missed
To fill you in on stupid crayon drawings and first loves
But, forgive me
I find it hard to pick up where we left off
Shall I regress into tantrums and recant my toilet training?
Shall I crawl into an incubation bed and await your next move?
Because correct me if I'm wrong
I believe that's where we left it
And I don't see how we can begin to build this relationship out of this straw of a lunch you've brought
Please, I don't mean to be rude
I just pictured this moment differently
My emotion is kind of a loop in this equation
I thought we would laugh
And I would learn about that crazy aunt I dreamed every family would have
But as I look at you
I just
I just can't wrap my head around the fact
That you can wrap your arms around a child and some instinct inside you tells you to hold on and you let go
And you looked me in the eyes
I felt it.
And you left that hospital room
You looked back at me
And with all the power in my 7 pound body, I tried to make you stay
I met your gaze
That was all I could do
And you coldly dismissed it
I felt that too
And I used to dream about the person you would be
I chose to forget that hospital room
And believe you were still thinking of me when I turned five
You know why I don't believe in Santa?
I'm sure you know that ever letter I ever wrote
Every wish
All of my hope
Was for you
To find me and pretend we were never apart
I guess I got tired of disappointed
Putting my hope in someone who would never be there
I imagined your laugh to sound a lot like mine
But there's this underlying tone of neglect in your voice that makes it hard for me to find relation
Anyway forgive me for my lack of enthusiasm
This isn't how I pictured at all
I'm sure you didn't expect me to be so blunt
But, I suppose if you had been there
You would know what you had missed
The flourishment of a human being
Of a person who has learned to stand on her own
Without you