Dont tell me i have a lot to live for ; when i honestly dont . I let all my walls fall for you . Pretty words dont mean nothing if there arnt real or truth . I dont want to be here anymore . Its just so dark and cold . Am scared . I dont want to kill myself . I dont . I just want to fix myself . I just dont know where to begin . I needed you more then ever , but as always you were to busy to notice . They told me this was just a phrase . Am tired of pretending everything it fine . My tears are staring to show and my smile is fadeing . How long is it going to be till people notice . Iv never been so close on giveing up and i have to blame is you . Dont you see what all this is doing to me ? I dont want to be alone . But sometimes its necessary  . If one day i actually start to matter . please let me know . Am not okay , and i havent been okay for a while now . I cant keep doing this anymore . You will never know what these thoughts are doing to me . All i wanted was to someone to be there for me . I was drowning but no one saw my struggle . I rather stay quit than explain my problems to people who dont care . Am getting to the point where i want nothing to do with anything or anyone , including you .Am so lost and confussed .