I live in the future but I can't seem to let go of the past

My race was ended first but I'm still running last

In my times of weakness I still stand strong because I know something else can go wrong

I smile through every frown to try to ease the pain

I dont cry but the clouds in my sky overflow with rain

I love the things that I can't have

and still long for the one I've already had

so why is it that you see no flaws in me?

or are these things that I thought I wear on my sleeves

really barried deep inside beneath...

beneath the strong and unconditional love I share with people close to me 

behind the glow of the smiles I hold in my eyes and allow people to see even when they frighten me 

under the joy of life I breathe from my every breath even after life it's self has beaten me..