Finding Yourself

When you’re young life is so simple

Never having to worry about a little pimple

Smiles, laughs and always having attention from someone

Seems like something we all would want - everyone

But as you grow up things start to change and the once peaceful world shows you its true and scary colors

That some of us don’t seem to have mothers

Of course we all have one, but for me it is not that simple

She was too busy doing who knows what and never paid attention to the little dimples

Cops, blood. Tears - not words that you would expect when you hear ‘mom’

Instead it should sounds like hugs and kisses - calm

“Mom, mom - wanna hear about school?”

But as I asked that question she began to drool

“Daddy, why don’t we go see mommy anymore?”

“She’s just not doing that well.” he always swore

Now you’re thirteen starting highschool and you start to not care about it

Well because now you have other things to worry about and try not to quit

School, homework, studying, oh ya and friends

To me it felt like it all would never end

Waking up, going to school, going home - repeat

Nothing in my head but getting off of me feet

Sitting in my room with music on staring at the walls

Wondering if it even matters at all

“Are you okay?”

Such a common question and my response always was - “Ya, just a bad day.”

Sophomore year things had to change

I needed to become someone who I loved and I knew it was going to be strange

Dressed nice, did my makeup nice, and it was all for myself

But of course it ended up not only being for myself, but also for himself

I found a boy that said he wanted to give me the world

He said he wanted to spend time with me and liked my hair curled

I let down my guard for the first time in forever and I liked it

Never really thinking that one day that could all split

October to June

And it seemed to go all too soon

Tears and pain

But I know that that feeling can never remain

So, I did it again - rebuild

And that depressed and broken girl was now killed

Ya, they were good times but I wanted to now make better times

And wanting these things were not crimes

First day of Junior year and it feels new

Like something that I can definitely do

Meeting new people and doing what I want

Did not even come to me as a haunt

Yet again October hits and I found a boy

But instead of saying he would give me the world, he showed me and I knew he was no decoy

School, work, friends, and him and I have no reason to complain

I guess I have found something within my brain

I now know that your past is the past for a reason

And that reason does not come with treason

My past has shown me that though something is painful, the pain will fade

Just like the sun can’t forever live within the shade

Learning and growing through life is what we need

Just like a healthy plant comes from just a little seed

I am proud to say I am no longer who I once was

Which I’m so thankful for because I was really in a fuzz

A few years too long

But now I am me and I am strong


This poem is about: 
My family


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