After Shirley Geok Lin-Lim's Learning to Love America

 

because I haven’t had anything solid in the last week

 

because my parents threaten to take my phone away

because they say they know best

and because they are scared I will fade

 

because I say they rather than I 

 

because I have worried friends 

who bring up the subject every lunch period

and whine jealousy at my ice cream eating habits

 

because my throat feels scratchy 

my breath feels strained

my lungs feel tight and contained

 

because I am hiding all the other factors

 

because society has told young girls to watch their calories

because I sit in a second floor, stuffy office with my first therapist

because I am only 12 years old and my fears are not my own

because I wish I was never born, but that wasn’t my choice and neither is the one to continue living

 

because to eat means to live

because it shows that I have moved on

because otherwise I will lose 10 more pounds

 

because I need to make the decision for myself

because I need to live.