feelings
i was told to write about my feelings.... fuck, my feelings twords what? Lamps? cats? my feelings in general? my feelings about feelings?
hell, feelings are a curse as well as a blessing. i dont know if i would rather feel everything all at once or feel nothing at all.
late at night, its an attack. feelings shot at me left and right, and a hand grenade of depression, leaving me wounded by morning. bracelets as band aids, and my helmate of self esteem cracked right down the middle.
my chances of survival the next night, the next fight, are dwindling down to much lower numbers and no chance of slumber.
how do i sleep, how am i supposed to feel? how should i feel about my own existance disappearing?