The thing I fear the most is myself.

Not because I am a brute.

Not because I consider myself dangerous.

Or that I am outspoken.

Or that I am a pariah.

 

I fear that I am a walking contradiction.

My life is an oxymoron.

 

I fear my thoughts.

To be specific, I fear my mind.

The fact that I can not think linearly.

My thoughts tend to fight each other.

My mind is in constant conflict.

And it is escaping into reality.

Making me even more frustrated with myself.

 

I fear that I’ll never understand myself.

To be specific, being able to just make a clear decision.

Or express an emotion without doubting it.

My mind likes to express things then question why I expressed it in that way.

 

I fear that my mind is overpowering me.

Causing an unhealthy relationship between body and soul.

Obstructing my view of what happiness is.

And making me less ashamed of my negative habits.

 

I fear that I’ll never be able to express how I really feel.

To be exact, which personality is attached with which emotion.

Instead of just having emotions that come

out.

 

I fear that my mind will leave me with nothing.

To be direct: the girl that I love, the people that care about me, my family, and people in the shadows looking up to me for hope.

I give too much power to my mind.

And I feel as if I am in the sunken place.

Observing but not fully in control.

 

I fear that mind is not mine.

Just an image of what I do not want to be.

A frustrated and conflicted child suffering from his own thoughts.

 

I fear that I will never succeed.

Not because I do not have a plan.

Not because I do not know how.

Because I hold myself back from the dangers of the unknown.

 

I fear that I will never be able to remove myself from this void.

Not created by you.

Not created by the world.

But created by me.

 

My biggest fear is not myself but the person that I will be if I let my thoughts drown me.

My biggest fear was holding on to the thoughts that make up who I am.

But if letting go sets me free then being confined is not the plan.

Goodbye constricting thoughts I would like to become a better man.